Saturday, January 21, 2012

To Buy a House or To Buy Me Happiness?

Hey Chia

The Dilemma 

This is the question that pops into my head every single day. Do I use my savings to buy my first place or should I use my savings to buy me the happiness that I will get from life experiences?

It's tearing me a part. It's making me stagnant. I just can't move forward unless I have made this decision in my mind and am 100% ok with it. People around me have been passively sending messages that I should buy a place.

I am 26 years old, I have a steady income, so I should - right?

I'd say, that ultimately, my dream is to get married to a guy who is crazy for me, and that I am crazy for too, buy a house that is near to the beach, have kids and raise them, and grow old happy.

However, before all that I want to travel. I want to see what is out of Perth and visit new places, meet new people, learn about new cultures and history and just a different way of life. I would be happy with a year off to do just that.

It's just, well, everything around me is telling me no.

Also, a part of me is telling me I ought to start settling. If I want my ultimate dream of family and a house near the beach then I really should focusing on that now. I don't want to only start settling down too late in my life time. I don't want to have kids when I am older as that burdens my kids of having to worry about elderly parents when they are in their 20s, when they should be enjoying their lives.

My parents want me to buy a place, and I discuss it with them. But when I am honest and tell them that I want to travel first, they just go quiet and look away.

Another thing that is on my mind is Kev. We have talked about the future and stuff, but though Kev wants to travel, he is bound by his own house obligations and so he can't come with me for part of my travels.

Why don't I want to go alone? Well, I am in a relationship, with someone who I want to share my happiness and life experiences with, so that we grow together and not apart.

Things that have countered my own self doubt, fears and questions about travelling, instead of the 'responsible' and 'safe' path of purchasing a house have been my frank discussions with some work mates of mine. All of them have said 'travel before you get a mortgage,' 'travel before you have children,' and I do not disagree with them.

Is 26 still young? Or have I missed the boat?

Also articles have helped me think about my predicament:

Pros to buying a house
  • I'll have a place that is mine, that I can go to if things get tough
  • I'm moving on in life, and can start looking for a house with Kev
  • I will have security in the future (good financial choices etc)
  • I am young, so I can work hard to pay off the mortgage
Cons to buying a house
  • I won't be able to escape and travel the way I want to do at least once in my life (for an extended period)
  • Be Perth bound without even experiencing things out there
  • Will always have a niggling feeling that 'I should have done it'
  • Be at work and be dreaming of travelling  to 'get it out of the way'
Pros to travelling
  • Learning new languages, cultures and places
  • Meeting new people
  • Testing personal limits
  • Happiness, happiness, happiness!
  • Memories that will keep me bubbly through the dark times'
  • Experiences that I can pass down to my children when they have questions about life and the world
Cons to travelling
  • Fall behind in career, may not get a job when I get back
  • May be a little lost
  • No savings and will need to start from scratch
  • Worrying about my parents
  • Not having Kev with me
  • Creating memories and experiences without Kev and returning too different from each other.
Just my thoughts.


  1. hey banzi, thought i'd squiz your blog now that i've got it saved and we have been bumping into each other a fair bit this week!

    skimmed (because i'm not a great reader) through your dilemma and chia's response and agree; you need to know what you want and do it accordingly.

    though i love travelling too i need to experience it with someone i love to share it with and bounce the energy off. also i would be hell scared to travel alone and wouldn't be able to do it - i'm not strong enough. if you are able to then that's great and u should.

    you just need to know what you want, it's hard though. maybe you should go somewhere by yourself to experience it like chia said.

    - mouse

  2. Mouse!

    Thanks for your support! The more and more I think about it, the more I know I need to do it.

    I'm just gotta grow some and do it.

    After reading this post, Kev said he would think about coming with me, as he does want to come too. So... we shall see what happens!